42nd Street Station

The Boy at The Train Station by @jesscscott

Reading Time - Estimated Slightly More Than A Minute

Smile Factor - Let's Take This Seriously And Make A Difference

Biz Take Away -Protecting Our Littlest Citizens

As the train pulled up to the 42^nd street stop, the doors slid open as the muffled announcement overhead seemed to spit out a collection of syllables that sounded like “nex op is. . .” The doors opened and the bodies lining the inside of the train pushed forward in a sort of unified frantic movement.  Meeting with an immediate resistance, the equally frenetic crowd on the platform pushed inward; neither side willing to abandon their position. I held my bag tightly (and my breath), and pushed with all my might. I pushed to break free of the six person deep barrier; keeping my eyes ahead as to not feel suffocated as I often feel in these agonizing metropolitan morning rituals.

Towering above the averaged-size crowd, a tall handsome man with a sculptured face and warm mocca-colored skin made his way towards me; a beautiful interlude.  Successfully, I had moved past the threshold of the subway door, the criss-crossing crowd still pressing on all sides, when another tall man came into my view with dark hair and ivory skin. Another gift of distraction, I thought. The threat of the subway door closing caused the crowd to suddenly peel away, revealing that each man held (tightly) the hand of a small boy; each a smaller version of their much larger guardians. I paused and turned. As they both stepped on the train, the two men with no apparent similarities or awareness of one another were connected by their grasp. Both lending a protective hand; keeping their young safe from harm.

The beautiful picture lingered before me as the train pulled away from the platform. I ponder the importance of a father figure; to have someone to hold your hand (literally and emotionally).

Just recently my work has led me to an increased level of awareness of the long-term impact of fatherlessness in America and its impact on my own life. As I turned and walked out of the subway station I thought of my own childhood; impacted by the instability of spending some of the time with my father and then going through periods without him. While my mom always was there for us, there were many times I needed my dad and his absence did have an impact.

With nearly a third – yes a THIRD – approx. 24 Million children living without a father figure in the U.S., the impact is hard to ignore. Studies have shown that children without a father or a mentor are at an alarming higher risk of major challenges in life. Studies show a high percentage of those incarcerated have no father. Many identified behavioral disorders are connected with fatherlessness, as well as the astonishing dropout rates of fatherless children. The effects of fatherlessness continues to impact many areas, such as poverty, increased aggression, achievement delays and the list goes on. Learn More 

In fact, it is astonishing how many children all over the world don’t have a father to guide them through their formative years.

Why is it we abandon our littlest citizens? Our most vulnerable?

Is it economics? divorce? fear? denial? 

Has it become culturally acceptable?

Does it matter? Is there any excuse that is really good enough?

“Several leading sociologists have labeled father absence ‘the most pressing issue facing America today.’ Alarmed by growing evidence of the importance of fatherhood, President Barack Obama, who was raised by a single mother, has forcefully pleaded with fathers to step up throughout his presidency.” Read full article 

So Obama didn’t have a father figure and so is the case with many successful people, but that does not mean we should continue to ignore our responsibilities. In fact, we need to address full on. Writer Wayne Parker said, “So . . . it seems to be clear and getting clearer that fathers are more important in a child's life than might be thought in many circles.” Let’s not ignore the statistics.

Know a child without a father? 

Be a mentor. Make a difference. 

Watch Video

New York Based Mentoring Opportunities

http://www.nyc.gov/portal/site/nycgov/menuitem.fe96d343eb32cce6a62fa24601c789a0

http://www.bigsnyc.org/index.php

http://www.mentoringusa.org/

http://www.imentor.org/

The Hawk and The Hummingbird

Reading Time - Estimated Slightly More Than Two Minutes, But Worth It

Smile Factor - We Are Not Talking Turkey Here

Biz Take Away - The Importance of Knowing Your Business Style

Sitting in the sun room of my country home nestled deep in the woods I enjoy the quiet solitude that my weekly urban daze never allows. My bare feet propped up on the chair next to me as I sip my afternoon iced-tea, I gaze out the South facing row of windows. Suddenly coming into focus, I see a little hummingbird hovering gracefully over one of the tall flowers in our garden. Barely breathing – as if any noise from me would seep through the windows and walls to the great outdoors and scare this graceful hummingbird away, I am amazed by this delicate beauty fluttering its wings so fast while it maintains such an elegant poise.

I sigh with delight. I blink. It is gone.

Back to work, I continue what I call my “country-mode efficiency” and hum happily as I continue clearing out my inbox. In my peripheral a sudden dark shadow interrupts my flow. I look up just as a hawk lands outside of the same set of windows; the bulk of brown and gray feathers seem to threaten the frail wooden fence as it sways under the weight of the aggressive landing. This time I am more brave and get up for a closer look, when suddenly the hawk jerks its head my way, extends its neck as if peering through the window, jabs its beak in the air towards me, hunches its back, lifts its wings, seems to almost fall and then it lifts off.

Both part of the bird family, I ponder the deep contrast that makes them so stunningly different. While the hawk can spot its prey from 100 feet away, it can’t fly backwards or sideways like a hummingbird, which beats its tiny wings 80 times a second and has an obsession for sweet sugar over the more savory culinary appetite of its larger feathered cousin.

My visual experience really prompted me to think about human individuality and how it relates to business success.  Human beings, like birds are unique in their individuality and talents. Some are light and airy and others are strong and aggressive.  

I thought back to when I first started my own business and was hanging out with other business “birds.” I got lots of advice. I was told things like “be more aggressive” or “you should charge more” or “while I respect you are focused solely on non-profits, you should change your business plan to be more diverse,” and so on. As the endless stream of advice came my way, frustration took over and frankly I got my “feathers in a bunch.”

There was a moment when I had to face the mirror and take a good hard look at what my business personality was and work towards being the best I could be.  What type of bird was I? You simply can’t be a hawk if you’re not. Imagine the hummingbird trying to go after a mouse? Or funnier yet, imagine a hawk trying to delicately hover above a flower and sip its nectar. It just would not work.

Business is sure to struggle if you try to be a bird that you are not.

IT HAPPENED TO ME

I remember one of my business counterparts had been trying to get me involved in several projects. She was a real mover and was spending a lot of time going after new business. While I was open to the prospect of new business and tried to keep up with her, I just felt uncomfortable.

I questioned myself. Was I not committed? Was I not interested in volumes of new business? It was then that I realized that my business style was simply not of an aggressive sales person. Instead I learned I am more of a luxury brand builder; taking on projects I care about, working with my clients long-term to ensure that the best outcome is sustained over time. The hustle and bustle technique was (and is) not for me.

So how do you know what your business style is? How do you know what type of bird you are?

3 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT . . .

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1) KNOW WHO YOU ARE. WHAT IS YOUR BIZ-ONALITY?

You may be an introvert or an extrovert, assertive or passive, someone who works well in groups or not. Know who you are. Take time to understand the strengths and weaknesses of your leadership style. This will not only help you with your clients, but help you in building your support team; ensuring you surround yourself with complimentary styles that will help you build strong.

TRY THIS TEST

Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) will help you better understand your personality. Test is approx. 70 questions that help identify you as one of four types:

·         Extroversion/Introversion (do you need external contact to recharge, or time alone?)

·         Intuition/Sensing (do you trust more in own feelings or in external observations?)

·         Thinking/Feeling (is the dominant force relied upon to make decisions?)

·         Judgment/Perception (do you need to organize life or let the chips fall as they may?)

TAKE THE TEST: http://www.myersbriggsreports.com/

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2) IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE! REFINEMENT COMES THROUGH INTERACTION.

Just as important as understanding yourself is knowing your audience. Are you being conscious of others’ personality styles and how your own interacts with theirs; good or bad? Do you try to be aware of different personality types in your day-to-day life? Has knowing someone’s personality type ever helped you in your work, or has the converse ever happened – not being able to understand another’s personality style negatively impacted your business?

How can you improve your communication with others? How can you refine your business style through improving your interactions with others?

TRY THIS CLASS

Got $40 to invest? Try “The Seeing Lab” by Life Labs New York. This is a course that will help you learn how to detect and read micro-expressions, small contractions of the facial muscles that last only tenths of a second, but give a window into what someone is feeling.

Listen. Watch. Observe the things people are doing. Improve your people skills.

CHECK OUT LIFE LABS NEW YORK: http://lifelabsnewyork.com/seeing_lab.html

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3) PUTTING IT TOGETHER

Knowing your own style and learning how to better understand others is an on-going process. The efforts will be sure to help you become more flexible in dealing with others, resolve conflicts, and improve communication with everyone.

PONDER THIS
For those of you who know me, I love quotes. . so I leave you with this.

“Whereas the average individuals often have not the slightest idea of what they are, of what they want, of what their own opinions are, self-actualizing individuals have superior awareness of their own impulses, desires, opinions, and subjective reactions in general.” – Abraham Maslow

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A VISUAL BONUS
And. . if you are a bird lover like me, check this out. . .
http://www.hawksandhummingbirds.com/

Penned by Liz Glover Wilson